Just got back to the beach from three days in my hometown where I stayed at the house of one of my oldest friend (25+ years). Her boyfriend is a socially- retarded semi-lunatic who is incredibly jealous and possessive of her. He kept storming out of the room in a frenzy every time me and my friend started talking (dude, I can't help it if I look good without a shirt). Twice he said he was moving out and took some of his junk back to his mom's house. But he was always back a few hours later. It got so bad that he'd bolt out of his bedroom to make sure I wasn't sneaking into her bedroom when I came down to use the bathroom in the night.
Yet she is often involved with these isolated losers and I finally figured out why. They don't challenge her or compete with her - she's the leader and they follow like needy puppies. Not one of them has ever had a career or a steady job. But they are all hers. If I sound angry it's because I am - that lunatic gave me nightmares on my one trip home this year.
The first thing I did after driving through ungodly traffic back to the beach was put on my swim trunks and jump in the ocean. There is nothing more relaxing than floating a few feet underwater where the light is dim, where all is quiet and cool. After a swim I lay back on my towel in the sand and looked out over the water. Skim boarders made their swift runs at the waves. A fisherman stood at the small breakwater, casting. At the deepest point of the breakwater a double-crested cormorant dove and rose and dove and rose, flipping over like a seal on the way down. I love the beach in the evening - it's almost empty and it's so quiet, so perfectly quiet.
Visualization to prepare for a boxing match
1 year ago
10 comments:
My fingers are itching to type a sympathetic response to your first two paragraphs, but then the lid would be off my hermetically-sealed existence. We'll just have to talk about it over whiskey one day out on this coast.
Que tal, Buey? Didn't know you had blogs. Going to add them. Your secrets will be safe with me.
Is this how I used to be?
No way, dude. I liked all your ex's, even that grumpy Asian guy.
It's his birthday today.
I've tried to stay in touch with him. He usually writes back but he isn't very forthcoming. Might be bad associations there.
2 competing thoughts:
1. You are right, all these guys are hers, and something in her must like them this way.
2. That said, such rabid jealously usually springs from a considerable amount of pain, often accrued over a lifetime, and requires a considerable amount of compassion in order to be healed. (Whether or not this person is worth it, of course, is up to you.)
Of course you're right Erica, this is a very damaged person. but you can't help people who don't want to be helped; my friend has tried to get him into therapy many times. His typical male response is that it's everyone else's fault. Yet he'll be destroyed when she finally dumps him. My main concern is that he'll get violent with her.
Officially: Yikes.
Yikes is about right. Unfortunately, men of this type have impacted my family in a very negative way and it doesn't give me a good feeling.
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