tonight I went running on playing fields near my apartment. It was just before nine but the stadium lighting made everything visible. I came to the darkest corner of the fields where a fence separates them from an undeveloped expanse thick with brush. As a ran, a large animal ambled toward me, rabbit limp in its mouth. The rabbit dangled nerveless, probably just killed body much longer without the tautness and compression of life. At first I couldn't tell what the predator was, the body thick with smooth muscle over squatty legs. I thought fox, then coyote, then dog, but it didn't have the pointed ears or muzzle. As I got closer I saw that it was a cat, a bobcat, had those side-whiskers that look like mutton chops and a cat's lope. It was big for a bobcat. A website said they can way up to thirty pounds and this animal was all of that. The bobcat let me get pretty close, slinking along through the grass, then sliding under a set of bleachers with its dinner. All around on the field other rabbits grazed peacefully, only hopping away when they were in danger of being stepped on.
Postscript
On that same night, and the next, I kept running by a bloody rabbit skin near the same place on the field. I guess the hunting is good.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The Story of Bigfoot
This work of Bigfoot scholarship was emailed to a California newspaper by a man calling himself 'Hillbillie Bill.'
I have a real hot news tip for you. The film that Roger Patterson made in 1967 in Northern California of Bigfoot, was real. Here is what Bigfoot really is. Long before Jesus was born there were thousands of slaves who ran off around the world and started their own countries. When these slaves ran off there was a large group of men and boys who took off and ended up in Africa. Some of these men and boys caught female Orangutans and took them to South America and had sex with them and created the American Indian. The men and boys who stayed in Africa caught female Gorillas and had sex with them and created the Black man. When scientists found the bones in Africa they thought we evolved from a female Chimpanzee. But it wasn’t a natural evolution it was a man made evolution. That’s where Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Orangutan man and the Skunk Ape comes from. They are half man and half Gorilla and half man and half Orangutan. They use to call the American Indian the red man. The Orangutan has redish hair. When those men bred out the hair the Indian’s skin remained red. The Gorilla has black hair and skin. When those men bred out the hair the Black man’s skin remained black. Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Orangutan man and the Skunk Ape are not prehistoric creatures from millions of years ago but they are man made creatures from several thousand years ago. The creature that Roger Patterson filmed in 1967 was half man and half Gorilla. Otherwise known as Bigfoot. Man created his own evolution. Hillbillie Bill
I have a real hot news tip for you. The film that Roger Patterson made in 1967 in Northern California of Bigfoot, was real. Here is what Bigfoot really is. Long before Jesus was born there were thousands of slaves who ran off around the world and started their own countries. When these slaves ran off there was a large group of men and boys who took off and ended up in Africa. Some of these men and boys caught female Orangutans and took them to South America and had sex with them and created the American Indian. The men and boys who stayed in Africa caught female Gorillas and had sex with them and created the Black man. When scientists found the bones in Africa they thought we evolved from a female Chimpanzee. But it wasn’t a natural evolution it was a man made evolution. That’s where Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Orangutan man and the Skunk Ape comes from. They are half man and half Gorilla and half man and half Orangutan. They use to call the American Indian the red man. The Orangutan has redish hair. When those men bred out the hair the Indian’s skin remained red. The Gorilla has black hair and skin. When those men bred out the hair the Black man’s skin remained black. Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Orangutan man and the Skunk Ape are not prehistoric creatures from millions of years ago but they are man made creatures from several thousand years ago. The creature that Roger Patterson filmed in 1967 was half man and half Gorilla. Otherwise known as Bigfoot. Man created his own evolution. Hillbillie Bill
Land of the Teletubbies
Irvine is the anti-Brooklyn. When I first got here I was describing it to a friend of mine. I talked about the sunny days, the bright colors, the sculpted green landscapes, the happy polite undergrads, and of course the bunnies hopping about everywhere.
Ir sounds like the teletubbies, she said.
What are teletubbies? I said.
[a capsule history for other uniformed souls]
The programme features four colorful characters: Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po, who live in a futuristic dome (the "Tubbytronic Superdome"), set in a landscape of rolling green hills. The environment is dotted with unusually talkative flowers and periscope-like "voice trumpets". The only natural fauna are rabbits (although birds are often heard, particularly blackcaps and wrens). The climate is always sunny and pleasant save for occasional inclement days, with rain and puddles, and snow at Christmas time. The Teletubbies are played by actors dressed in bulky costumes, although the sets are designed to give no sense of scale. The Teletubbies don't normally wear real clothes other than the colored suits they wear. They have metallic silver-azure rectangular "screens" adorning their abdomens. These screens are used to segue into short film sequences, which are generally repeated at least once. When the series is shown in different countries around the world, the film inserts can be tailored to suit local audiences, or default to the British ones.
They even had bunnies? I said.
They had bunnies, she said.
Thanks god I was too old to be subjected to that, I said.
Another more sinister way to think of the students here is as Eloi, wandering through a Brutalist landscape built by Morlocks (played by the U.C. Regents). Someday the Morlocks will devour the witless happy Eloi.
Ir sounds like the teletubbies, she said.
What are teletubbies? I said.
[a capsule history for other uniformed souls]
The programme features four colorful characters: Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po, who live in a futuristic dome (the "Tubbytronic Superdome"), set in a landscape of rolling green hills. The environment is dotted with unusually talkative flowers and periscope-like "voice trumpets". The only natural fauna are rabbits (although birds are often heard, particularly blackcaps and wrens). The climate is always sunny and pleasant save for occasional inclement days, with rain and puddles, and snow at Christmas time. The Teletubbies are played by actors dressed in bulky costumes, although the sets are designed to give no sense of scale. The Teletubbies don't normally wear real clothes other than the colored suits they wear. They have metallic silver-azure rectangular "screens" adorning their abdomens. These screens are used to segue into short film sequences, which are generally repeated at least once. When the series is shown in different countries around the world, the film inserts can be tailored to suit local audiences, or default to the British ones.
They even had bunnies? I said.
They had bunnies, she said.
Thanks god I was too old to be subjected to that, I said.
Another more sinister way to think of the students here is as Eloi, wandering through a Brutalist landscape built by Morlocks (played by the U.C. Regents). Someday the Morlocks will devour the witless happy Eloi.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
They're Not in Any Hurry to Get to Heaven
I still haven't quite figured out why God wants you on a mechanical ventilator.
Religious Belief Linked to Desire for Aggressive Treatment in Terminal Patients
By RONI CARYN RABIN
Published: March 17, 2009
Terminally ill cancer patients who drew comfort from religion were far more likely to seek aggressive, life-prolonging care in the week before they died than were less religious patients and far more likely to want doctors to do everything possible to keep them alive, a study has found.
The patients who were devout were three times as likely as less religious ones to be put on a mechanical ventilator to maintain breathing during the last week of life, and they were less likely to do any advance care planning, like signing a do-not-resuscitate order, preparing a living will or creating a health care proxy, the analysis found.
The study is to be published Wednesday in The Journal of the American Medical Association.
“People think that spiritual patients are more likely to say their lives are in God’s hands — ’Let what happens happen’ — but in fact we know they want more aggressive care,” said Holly G. Prigerson, the study’s senior author and director of the Center for Psychosocial Oncology and Palliative Care Research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston.
“To religious people, life is sacred and sanctified,” Dr. Prigerson said, “and there’s a sense they feel it’s their duty and obligation to stay alive as long as possible.”
Aggressive life-prolonging care comes at a cost, however, in terms of both dollars and human suffering. Medicare, the government’s health plan for the elderly, spends about one-third of its budget on people who are in the last year of life, and much of that on patients at the very end of life.
Aggressive end-of-life care can lead to a more painful process of dying, researchers have found, and greater shock and grief for the family members left behind.
The new study used both a questionnaire and interviews to assess the level of reliance on religious faith for comfort among 345 patients with advanced cancer. The patients, most of them belonging to Christian denominations, were followed until they died, about four months on average.
A vast majority of patients, religious or not, did not want heroic measures taken. Still, 11.3 percent of the most religious patients received mechanical ventilation during the last week of life, compared with only 3.6 percent of the least religious.
The most religious patients were also more likely than less religious ones to be resuscitated in the last week of life and to be treated in an intensive-care unit as they died, although those differences may have been due to chance.
“Doctors don’t always acknowledge, and I’m pretty sure patients are telling us, that God is really important in their lives,” said Dr. Gerard Silvestri, a cancer specialist at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston, S.C., who has studied end-of-life decision making.
A study by Dr. Silvestri in 2003 found that while cancer patients listed their oncologist’s recommendation as the most influential factor affecting their decisions about medical care, their faith in God was the second-most-influential factor, ranking higher than the recommendations of their family doctors, their spouses and children, and even information about whether treatment would cure the disease
Religious Belief Linked to Desire for Aggressive Treatment in Terminal Patients
By RONI CARYN RABIN
Published: March 17, 2009
Terminally ill cancer patients who drew comfort from religion were far more likely to seek aggressive, life-prolonging care in the week before they died than were less religious patients and far more likely to want doctors to do everything possible to keep them alive, a study has found.
The patients who were devout were three times as likely as less religious ones to be put on a mechanical ventilator to maintain breathing during the last week of life, and they were less likely to do any advance care planning, like signing a do-not-resuscitate order, preparing a living will or creating a health care proxy, the analysis found.
The study is to be published Wednesday in The Journal of the American Medical Association.
“People think that spiritual patients are more likely to say their lives are in God’s hands — ’Let what happens happen’ — but in fact we know they want more aggressive care,” said Holly G. Prigerson, the study’s senior author and director of the Center for Psychosocial Oncology and Palliative Care Research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston.
“To religious people, life is sacred and sanctified,” Dr. Prigerson said, “and there’s a sense they feel it’s their duty and obligation to stay alive as long as possible.”
Aggressive life-prolonging care comes at a cost, however, in terms of both dollars and human suffering. Medicare, the government’s health plan for the elderly, spends about one-third of its budget on people who are in the last year of life, and much of that on patients at the very end of life.
Aggressive end-of-life care can lead to a more painful process of dying, researchers have found, and greater shock and grief for the family members left behind.
The new study used both a questionnaire and interviews to assess the level of reliance on religious faith for comfort among 345 patients with advanced cancer. The patients, most of them belonging to Christian denominations, were followed until they died, about four months on average.
A vast majority of patients, religious or not, did not want heroic measures taken. Still, 11.3 percent of the most religious patients received mechanical ventilation during the last week of life, compared with only 3.6 percent of the least religious.
The most religious patients were also more likely than less religious ones to be resuscitated in the last week of life and to be treated in an intensive-care unit as they died, although those differences may have been due to chance.
“Doctors don’t always acknowledge, and I’m pretty sure patients are telling us, that God is really important in their lives,” said Dr. Gerard Silvestri, a cancer specialist at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston, S.C., who has studied end-of-life decision making.
A study by Dr. Silvestri in 2003 found that while cancer patients listed their oncologist’s recommendation as the most influential factor affecting their decisions about medical care, their faith in God was the second-most-influential factor, ranking higher than the recommendations of their family doctors, their spouses and children, and even information about whether treatment would cure the disease
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Radio Radio
http://www.thejefffariasshow.com/stream.php
I'm going to be doing a live broadcast on this guy's show today, 7 p.m. EST. Supposed to be talking about why martial arts are good for society, something like that. I should have no problem running my mouth; I so rarely do.
Sorry that I haven't been blogging. I've been deeply engaged in the best and the worst aspects of life. And writing. And writing. But I should be back in circulation soon, and also looking forward to reading y'all.
Peace
I'm going to be doing a live broadcast on this guy's show today, 7 p.m. EST. Supposed to be talking about why martial arts are good for society, something like that. I should have no problem running my mouth; I so rarely do.
Sorry that I haven't been blogging. I've been deeply engaged in the best and the worst aspects of life. And writing. And writing. But I should be back in circulation soon, and also looking forward to reading y'all.
Peace
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Ellen Miller, 1967-2008
My long-time friend, the author Ellen Miller, died just before Christmas this year. I'd gotten an email from her on December 13th saying she hoped to meet over the holidays. When I didn't hear back from her, I assumed that she'd been caught up in the chaos that had hounded her for the past few years.
Ellen was one of the most talented people I've ever met. She had an intense feeling for language - for word play, metaphor, style. Her first novel 'Like Being Killed' did well both critically and in sales - a rare combination. Ellen reminded me of two of my best professors from college. Like them she was from New York, Jewish, very left, both earthy and intellectual, and not particularly crazy about Israel's treatment of Palestinians (Grace Paley also comes to mind, although they were very different writers).
Job had nothing on Ellen. In the last few years, she'd been afflicted by severe health issues that nearly killed her a number of times (her doctors almost did her in also with their clumsy attempts to figure out what was wrong with her). Her landlord kept trying to evict her from her beautiful apartment, a typical New York story. All of these issues kept her from focusing on her writing, and working, which only made things worse. She did have a very long manuscript in process and hope I'll get to see it some day.
Ellen never gave up. I'd talk to her and be astounded by the suffering she'd gone through. I think it would have broken me. To see this vital, intelligent, kind friend being tortured was almost unbearable. Apparently she collapsed in a local deli and couldn't be revived quickly enough. I include her obituary below. I will miss having Ellen in my life.
Obituary
****
Ellen’s life and work will be remembered by friends and family at a memorial service scheduled for February 8, 2008. Details below. All are welcome.
Ellen grew up in the Carnarsie neighborhood of Brooklyn, in a working-class Jewish environment. Her vivid experience of this upbringing formed an important element in her second (unfinished) novel, Stop, Drop, Roll, an excerpt of which appeared in the anthology Lost Tribe: Jewish Fiction from the Edge (2003). She also contributed stories to the anthologies 110 Stories: New YorkWrites After Sept 11and Brooklyn Noir, among others.
In addition, Ellen taught creative writing at New York University, Pratt, and the New School, where she was admired by her students and colleagues not only for her mastery of the writing craft and dedication to teaching, but for her remarkable courage and honesty both on the page and in the classroom. Notwithstanding years of chronic illness and other hardships, which she faced with superhuman strength and determination, Ellen lived a rich and creative life and deeply touched many others. In the terminology of her favorite hobby, boxing, Ellen had “a lot of heart.”
She received her BA from WesleyanUniversityin 1988 with Honors and Phi Beta Kappa and later earned her MFAfrom the New York University Creative Writing program where she was the recipient of the NYU Creative Writing Fellowship for Fiction. She was also awarded a residency at the MacDowell Colony, among others.
Drafted in a six-month creative burst and published in 1998, Ellen’s novel Like Being Killed enjoyed many critical accolades, including a brief appearance on the San Francisco Chronicle’s bestseller list (after a cover review). Kirkus Reviews noted that “[the narrator’s] voice is authentic in unsparingly illuminating the link between self-protection and self-destruction, revealing a tender inner life that persists despite addiction, depression, and descent into squalor. A bleak, bracing debut.” Meanwhile, her teacher and mentor Annie Dillard wrote: “Ellen Miller hurls herself, along with her readers, into a world that resonates with moral complexity, startling anecdote, humor and good humor, brutality and compassion. Her prose is uncommonly clear, compelling, unaffected, and strong. The range of her narrative concerns--from Primo Levi, Nietzsche, and dead languages to bagels and peach pies--proves that she can make anything interesting."
She is survived by her devoted partner, Christopher Rowell, her step-father, Scott Hyde, her two brothers Steven and Michael, and her beloved god-daughter, Olivia Francesca Foster. She will be missed dearly by all.
A memorial service in honor of Ellen’s life and work will be held on Sunday, February 8th, 2009 from 4:00 to 6:00 pm at the Lillian Vernon Creative Writers House, 58 West 10th Street (btw 5th and 6th Aves.), New York, NY. All are welcome.
Ellen was one of the most talented people I've ever met. She had an intense feeling for language - for word play, metaphor, style. Her first novel 'Like Being Killed' did well both critically and in sales - a rare combination. Ellen reminded me of two of my best professors from college. Like them she was from New York, Jewish, very left, both earthy and intellectual, and not particularly crazy about Israel's treatment of Palestinians (Grace Paley also comes to mind, although they were very different writers).
Job had nothing on Ellen. In the last few years, she'd been afflicted by severe health issues that nearly killed her a number of times (her doctors almost did her in also with their clumsy attempts to figure out what was wrong with her). Her landlord kept trying to evict her from her beautiful apartment, a typical New York story. All of these issues kept her from focusing on her writing, and working, which only made things worse. She did have a very long manuscript in process and hope I'll get to see it some day.
Ellen never gave up. I'd talk to her and be astounded by the suffering she'd gone through. I think it would have broken me. To see this vital, intelligent, kind friend being tortured was almost unbearable. Apparently she collapsed in a local deli and couldn't be revived quickly enough. I include her obituary below. I will miss having Ellen in my life.
Obituary
****
Ellen’s life and work will be remembered by friends and family at a memorial service scheduled for February 8, 2008. Details below. All are welcome.
Ellen grew up in the Carnarsie neighborhood of Brooklyn, in a working-class Jewish environment. Her vivid experience of this upbringing formed an important element in her second (unfinished) novel, Stop, Drop, Roll, an excerpt of which appeared in the anthology Lost Tribe: Jewish Fiction from the Edge (2003). She also contributed stories to the anthologies 110 Stories: New YorkWrites After Sept 11and Brooklyn Noir, among others.
In addition, Ellen taught creative writing at New York University, Pratt, and the New School, where she was admired by her students and colleagues not only for her mastery of the writing craft and dedication to teaching, but for her remarkable courage and honesty both on the page and in the classroom. Notwithstanding years of chronic illness and other hardships, which she faced with superhuman strength and determination, Ellen lived a rich and creative life and deeply touched many others. In the terminology of her favorite hobby, boxing, Ellen had “a lot of heart.”
She received her BA from WesleyanUniversityin 1988 with Honors and Phi Beta Kappa and later earned her MFAfrom the New York University Creative Writing program where she was the recipient of the NYU Creative Writing Fellowship for Fiction. She was also awarded a residency at the MacDowell Colony, among others.
Drafted in a six-month creative burst and published in 1998, Ellen’s novel Like Being Killed enjoyed many critical accolades, including a brief appearance on the San Francisco Chronicle’s bestseller list (after a cover review). Kirkus Reviews noted that “[the narrator’s] voice is authentic in unsparingly illuminating the link between self-protection and self-destruction, revealing a tender inner life that persists despite addiction, depression, and descent into squalor. A bleak, bracing debut.” Meanwhile, her teacher and mentor Annie Dillard wrote: “Ellen Miller hurls herself, along with her readers, into a world that resonates with moral complexity, startling anecdote, humor and good humor, brutality and compassion. Her prose is uncommonly clear, compelling, unaffected, and strong. The range of her narrative concerns--from Primo Levi, Nietzsche, and dead languages to bagels and peach pies--proves that she can make anything interesting."
She is survived by her devoted partner, Christopher Rowell, her step-father, Scott Hyde, her two brothers Steven and Michael, and her beloved god-daughter, Olivia Francesca Foster. She will be missed dearly by all.
A memorial service in honor of Ellen’s life and work will be held on Sunday, February 8th, 2009 from 4:00 to 6:00 pm at the Lillian Vernon Creative Writers House, 58 West 10th Street (btw 5th and 6th Aves.), New York, NY. All are welcome.
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